Back to Black.

Wow, I suck at posting on here. I'm not even going to try and make up good excuses, I just never think about it. Well, I had a pretty decent Christmas; I got lots of money, candy, and some gift-cards. I also got a few other assorted things. I'm excited to get my presents from Jared and Megan today and then hang out with them. There's not much I have to post about so the last thing I have to share is that I've dyed my hair back to as close to my natural color as possible:

Not black, but dark brown.

Christmas Break!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate

Post Title: Amy Winehouse-Back to Black

Leaves become most beautiful..

..when they're about to die.
Yeah, so much for trying to post more and finish my thirty day challenge. With school and trying to maintain a social life (a.k.a. living with Jared and Megan), I have not had time to post, or even think about typing any posts for that matter. I would say I'm going to try and post more but I'm almost 99% sure that after we go back to school from Fall break I won't be posting anything. Anyway, my Fall break has been great so far, getting to be with my boyfriend, going places, and having fun. Here's a picture from when we went to the park the other day:

I love him so much and I always have a good time when he's around. I wish we could just live together, right now. 

Days until Christmas break: 45, give or take a few.

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

P.S. This is where I got my post title from: Time Is All Around-Regina Spektor 

Time flies when you're having fun.

Wow, I've only posted on here once the entire month of July. I'm only on day 18 of my 30 day challenge. I guess I'll try to do that sometime in the near future, but I don't know. I'm always so busy or too lazy to type a blog post. I'm sad that Summer is over, because it was the best one ever. I really do not like school; waking up early, having to listen to the ignorant inhabitants of this county, walking everywhere, learning useless information - yeah, not a fun time. So, I'm either gonna be really sad or angry everyday. I'm gonna need a bucket for my creys. That is all.

Last day of Summer. :(
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Like an apple on a tree.

How did I not know of this incredibly talented, wonderful woman until now? A Fine Frenzy = Love.

Summer!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate. 

Day 17: Things that make me scared.

Well that's a lot of things, but I'll limit it to ten.

1. Seeing a spider. No matter where I am or where it is, I am terrified.
2. Making decisions. I mean I just suck at decision making.
3. Getting old and wrinkly. I just don't want to be a crazy old man.
4. Death. And what comes after it.
5. The working world. I'm afraid I'll never have a steady job.
6. Driving. I'm not the worst at it, but I'm not the best. It's just so stressful.
7. Singing in front of people. I will have to overcome this one.
8. The Ocean.  Just pretty much everything about it.
9. Losing someone I love. No explanation needed.
10. Leaving my friends behind after High School. Makes me more sad than scared though.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Go on take everything, take everything, I want you to.

Yeah, I've been on a Hole kick lately. I just love the songs so much. This one is called Violet and it is from an older album of theirs called Live Through This. The lyrics in this video are not 100% correct; for example it's "I wanna give my violet more violence" not "I want it again, but violent, more violent" (That doesn't even make sense).

Summer!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 16: Three things I am proud of about my personality.

This is difficult, umm... It'd be easier if it was three things I dislike.

1. I'm not rude? I typically try to be nice to everyone.
2. I actually care about how what I do affects others, or at least most of the time.
3. I think sometimes I can be funny, not everyone seems to agree though. lol.

So, yeah there you go. I haven't posted in forever because as you all know it's Summer break. Things get crazy in the summer, so you can't expect me to blog regularly. I'll be sure to post something every now and then though.

Summer!!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Monster Rainbow.

I almost have a complete rainbow, I just can't find the yellow. Also, I'm kind of cheating. The purple is from a Rockstar, because I can't find the purple monster either. I better find them though, because I need to try all the flavors. In case you didn't know, I'm making a monster rainbow necklace. It's going to consist of two rainbows and four black tops to surround and separate them. It's going to be beautiful. I'll be sure to provide you all with a picture when I'm done.

It's a little blurry, oh well.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Lucky 13.

I just wanted to point out how wonderfully this shirt compliments my yellow hair and green eyes. I had to document this moment since this hair won't be here forever. Going out to eat with my dad for father's day, it should be a good time.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Remember, you promised me.

For some reason I really love this song, and the entire album Celebrity Skin, and Hole for that matter. This song has no relevance to my life currently, I just really love it.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 15: The best thing to happen to me this week.

Well it's only Monday so not much has happened. I guess that would be spending time with my boyfriend and friends. We do this all the time, but it's still the best thing to happen to me. They mean the world to me and I never want to leave them. I have so much fun with them, although it causes me to become sleep deprived and eat all the food in the world. We know how to have a good time.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 14: Something disgusting I do.

This is a difficult one. Obviously if I know others will find it disgusting then why would I admit to doing it? I'll try to find the least disgusting of disgusting things I do. I guess that would be that I do not brush my teeth everyday. Other people are always saying how they have to have their teeth brushed or else they feel disgusting, well I don't. I mean I try to as often as possible, but I'm lazy. I know it's extremely unhealthy, but I can't help it, it's a habit.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 13: A date I would love to go on.

Any one that ended with sex. xD lol, jk. No, um let's see. Well for one it would have to be with my boyfriend. I'm not sure what kind of date I want, I guess it doesn't matter as long as it's with him. I just want to spend lots of time with him, the events of the date don't really matter so much. I just want to have a good time. So, there you go, those are my only requirements.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 12: Things I want to say to an ex.

Well I don't have an ex so I have nothing to say. I'm not sure what I would say if I had an ex anyway. Well, this is a short post. In other news my speedo comes in today and I have dyed my hair blonde (Actually more like yellow, but you know). So much excitement,

Summer!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.  

Day 11: My current relationship.

Is with my boyfriend Jared. It is going really well. We have yet to have any fights, probably because we agree on pretty much everything. Although neither of us likes making decisions so that sometimes causes slight problems. We always figure something out though. He is really lovely and I'm super glad that summer is allowing us to spend lots of time together. I just wish I had more money so I could do more things; like I'm sure many other people wish as well. Being single was really lonely, but now I always have someone to talk to. So, yeah my life is pretty wonderful right now; I'm loving this amazing relationship I'm in. I don't mean to be one of those crazy people always blabbering on about their boyfriend or girlfriend, but the 30 day challenge demanded so I'm just following orders. Oh, we had a Charmed marathon yesterday and let me say I freaking love this show! I can't wait to continue watching it, it's pretty awesome.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 10: My views on drugs and alcohol.

Well, I have been wearing a drug-free bracelet since 7th grade so obviously I do not do drugs. I will never do drugs because they are very damaging to your body and can ruin your life. I do not believe anyone should do drugs, but I'm not gonna hate someone if they do. My views on alcohol have changed over the years. I'm about 98% sure that I will never drink and if I do it will only be a few sips. I don't care if other people drink as long as it's not excessively. And actually it's kinda fun to see how people act when they are drunk, just say'n.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 9: My last kiss.

N/A. I haven't even had my first kiss. However, I expect that when I finally do it will be pretty wonderful.

Hmm, very short post. Oh well.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 8: Something I'm currently worrying about.

You know usually I'm constantly worrying about all kinds of things and would have a thousand options as to which problem to blog about, but not today. I'm not sure why, is it because I'm on summer break? That I have the Born This Way cd? That I'm happy about having a boyfriend and getting to spend all kinds of time with him? I guess it's a combination of all of those, but to be completely honest there is one thing I'm currently worrying about. I'm worried that this sickness thing I have right now is contagious and that everyone I came in contact with within these past couple of days are going to get sick. Hopefully it's not, I think it may just be a sinus infection, but I'm sorry if you do get sick and it's my fault; I mean I wasn't going to avoid having a good time just because I'm a little sick. That's pretty much it though.

Ignore the unattractive angle.

Day 7: My opinion on cheating on people.

Can this even be considered a debatable topic? Obviously, I would never do it and neither should anyone else. I can't see why anyone would have an opinion to the contrary. If you don't like the person you're with then break up with them. Even though it may seem hard at the time, it is better than having them find you cheating on them. This would ruin your reputation, no one wants to be with a cheater. So moral of the story, don't cheat.

Days Until Summer: 1!!!!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 6: The person I like and why I like them.

Well obviously that would have to be my boyfriend, uh duh. I like him because he is so very nice to everyone and is so caring. He has common sense, unlike most people, and we share pretty much all the same opinions. He has a great personality, there is never a dull moment with him. He's cute and doesn't make me feel nearly as awkward as other people do. I love going places with him, we have such fun times. I don't know what else to say, I just like him.

Days until Summer: 2!!!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 5: Things that irritate me about the opposite/same sex.

Well, people in general irritate me with their hypocritical and discriminative ways, but to be gender specific, hmm I'm not sure.

• Opposite sex- Well there is not much about females that irritates me, other than that they have vagina's (lol, jk). But yeah they are mostly nice and accepting, so... I guess the only thing that kinda irritates me is that a lot of girls are not happy. Everyone deserves to be happy and it seems like females are more susceptible to self hatred and depression. Love yourself and do what's best for you, then you'll be happy. (And will no longer irritate me (: )
• Same sex- I'm gonna have to say that what irritates me most about males is that a vast majority of them are straight and with this a lot of the time comes homophobia. I guess since straight men, much more than girls (obviously), do not understand our love for other men they feel the need to push us far away from them and openly show disgust towards us. Whatever their reasoning it irritates me. Homophobia is an extremely irrational fear that should never have come about and especially not be so common. 

Days until Summer: 4!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 4: What I wear to bed.

Well, not much. 99% of the time I just wear my boxers and that's all. I keep my fan on high so I'm forced to wrap up tight in my blanket to stay warm. I like being cold and having to bundle up whilst sleeping. So yeah, this is a short post; there's not much to say about what I wear to sleep.

Days until Summer: 5!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 3: What kind of person attracts me.

Well I guess I'll provide a list.

1. Intelligent (probably most important)
2. Funny.
3. Cute and lovable.
4. Not afraid to share their feelings and opinions.
5. Very understanding and caring.
6. Willing to commit themselves to a relationship.
7. Comforting.
8. Both trust worthy and trusting. 

Basically, I have to have fun when I'm with them; they need to be able to make me happy.

Days until Summer: 6!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 2: How have I changed in the past two years?

I guess you could say that I've changed a lot in the past two years, but mainly this year. Through most of this school year everything has seemed to bother me. All the ignorant people and even my friends were getting on my nerves way more than usual, or so I thought. But then I realized that the real problem was me. I was frustrated because I could never state my true opinion on things, I wasn't being completely honest about myself. So I came out during Spring break and since then I have changed tremendously. I have been a lot more outspoken and I have stoped caring as much about what others think of me. I've been wearing a little bit more of the things I like and not caring. I've been going out with friends a lot, whereas before I might go out once every month or two. And apparently I have been a lot more sassy about things? Oh well, it happens. But anyway I've changed a lot, including in ways I can not put into words. Change is good.

Days until Summer: 7!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Born this Way leaked...

jgkvhn mva[oerju/. Oh my, so overwhelming. I feel this intense need to skip school tomorrow just so I can listen to them all. I need to hear all of them multiple times and let it all sink in. I can't pick a favorite, all I can say is that the entire album is my favorite. So Amazing. I have to buy the CD. I never buy cds, but I have to have this one. Hopefully I have enough money for it on Monday. I am not going to be able to concentrate at school... or sleep or eat or anything really. We so excited. fjiahrvnihgeah Yeah!

Days until Summer: 8!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 1: Weird things I do when alone.

I don't really consider anything I do weird, but I don't know. Um, well like many other people I don't wear pants when alone. I sometimes talk to myself, like I have conversations and things. Probably the strangest thing I do is dance/flail frantically to any song I feel like listening to and singing it to my cat. He gets very confused and usually runs away, but I know he loves me.

Days until Summer: 8!
Stop the Hate Don't Discriminate.

Everybody Hurts.

This song is so amazing. When I'm down it always makes me feel better. I couldn't stop singing it today, it's so pretty. Avril Lavigne is such a beautiful singer, I love her.

Days until Summer: 9!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Okay, I guess I will too.

I'm probably not going to want to answer a lot of these truthfully, but I'll try. I think these challenges are really cool, they allow you to show others who you are and what you believe in.

Days until Summer: 9!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

I did not fit in...

So tonight was interesting. I went to the bar bq festival with Mary Rachel and Grant and we walked around for a while. It was windy and rainy, I was shivering most of the night. Well we went to the school age stage thing which was bands playing metal music. I was so confused, and as the title states I did not fit in. The people were so crazy, I made sure to keep a safe distance. But on the bright side I saw Jessica VanWinkle who I haven't seen or talked to in forever. We used to be best friends before she moved, then we gradually grew apart. Oh, and Jenifer was there too. Then when the metal music concert thing was over Grant and his friend (both of which are over 21) wanted to get beers. So we went into this bar and  me and Mary Rachel quickly sat down at a table. (She's only 18). We thought we would be ok, that no one would confront us for being underage; I mean we weren't going to drink, we were just here to get out of the cold. It was full of old people dancing to country music, gross. But once again I did not fit in. Not long after Grant and his friend got to the table with their beers some creeper worker guy pops up at my shoulder, gets in my face and is like, "Did anyone i.d. you?" I didn't know how to respond, I wanted to tell him to get out of my face and then maybe I'd answer; but instead I just gave him a disgusted look and slightly shook my head. Then he was like, "I'm talking to you". So I'm like "No" and Mary Rachel says we'll just leave. So we exit the bar after not even two minutes of being there. I feel like I failed at being a convincing 21 year old. Oh well, it's not a bad thing to look your age when you're young. I just felt insulted that he didn't confront Mary Rachel, only me. So rude. Anyways then we went and ate McDonalds and preceded to Grants friend's friend's house. Her and her friend were really nice and funny. We stayed there and talked for a while, but eventually left because it was getting late. So that was my night. I guess it was decent, just cold and full of awkward situations; no big deal.

Days until Summer: 9!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 10: One person I can trust.

This is really hard, I'd like to think there are multiple people I can trust. And I don't want to just put down one friend, when I trust more than one. So, to avoid hurting any of my friends feelings I'm gonna have to say,

1.) My Mom. I've told her I am gay and she hasn't told my dad. I've told her lots of things and if I don't want her to she doesn't repeat it. She tells me lots of things too and I never tell anyone else. We have a very trusting relationship. I love my mom.

Woo hoo, I finished the challenge! It was actually kinda fun; it gave me something to do and allowed me to really look inside myself for answers. I liked it.

Days until Summer: 11!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

My Dad....

How does he not know I'm gay. I think it's kinda obvious, but whatever. My mom, sister, and I decided not to tell him because he would most likely explode, or at least have a heart attack or something. But lately he's been trying to push me into dating girls, and finding the right girl and bringing her home. It's like, "I'm gay, now STFU!" He also talks condescendingly about gay guys. Like today we saw someone walk in front of our car. My dad was like "Who was that" and I told him. He remembered that I used to/kinda still am friends with him and was just like, "oh." in a semi-disgusted way. Later he was like, "What happened to him, he looked like he was flaming" (Derogatory way of saying he "looked" gay, in case you didn't know) and I was like, "No, he has a girlfriend who he's always kissing and hugging". He says, "Oh, I was worried for a second. That's good". Like seriously. Then he keeps talking about how when I  start driving I'll find a girl and bring her home and how I need to find a girl who shares my passion for music. It annoys me so much, I just sit there going, "uh huh" and "sure". I don't know if he's doing this because he suspects I'm gay and is trying to "change" me (impossible, I was born this way) or if he actually thinks I'm straight. Either way I'm getting sick and tired of it and he needs to STFU. I'm gonna bring a boy home, not a girl, so stop telling me what I'm gonna do: You are wrong.

Days until Summer: 12!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 9: Two things I wish I could do.

1.) Be confident. This would help with so many things in my life. Like in social situations, when making decisions, when performing on stage, when flirting/trying to win the affection of someone I really like, and just everything. Confidence would make my life wonderful.
2.) Take all my friends everywhere I go. Like every time I move be able to take them with me, that way we can always be together. I don't ever wanna leave my friends. This isn't rational, I know, it's a wish.

Days until Summer: 12!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 8: Three words I can't go a day without using.

I use lots of words everyday, but I guess these would be the top three.

1.) "I". It's always, "I need this", "I want that", or " I am going to do this". I'm always talking about myself and I hope it doesn't make me sound selfish or ego-centric.  

2.) "Love". I am always proclaiming my love for something. I just love lots of things, I can't help it.

3.) "Amazing". This is my go to word when trying to describe wonderful things. So sorry if I use it too often, I need to broaden my vocabulary. 

Days until Summer: 13!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 7: Four memories.

Considering how I can never remember anything, this may take some thought.  

1.) Going to New York on the GT trip. It was the first time I had ever been to New York, New York and it was life-changing. I didn't ever want to leave, it was so beautiful. It was also my first ever plane ride, so that was memorable as well. 

2.) Last Summer when my sister flew me out to visit her in Florida. It was just me and her and we had a great time. We went to Disney world and did all kinds of other fun things. I also had creme brulee and flan for the first time, they were delicious. 

3.) The many times going to visit my mom's family in Maryland. They are such wonderful people and I always have fun every time we go there.

4.) The numerous camping trips me and my family went on when I was younger. My dad had a job that required him to go to many different states, so during the summer we would camp somewhere near his work site. We went to New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and other northern states. We stayed at really cool camp grounds and met lots of new people. It was really fun.

Days until Summer: 14!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Emotionally Attached.

All my life I have dreamed of moving away to somewhere big and wonderful like New York. I want to be a happy and successful singer. I never used to think how hard it would be to leave my friends behind. I've never been really close to any friends until recently. I love my friends so much and I have become severely emotionally attached to them, especially the ones who accept me for who I am and who I feel comfortable talking to about anything. I can't imagine not living minutes away from all my friends and being able to see them and hang out whenever we want. It almost makes me want to never leave, but that's not rational. If it were not for my friends I would leave this place now. I have decided that I am forcing at least one friend to move in with me where ever I decide to live, because to just completely leave all my friends at once would kill me. Sorry if this post is depressing, but it's how I feel. I just have to keep reminding myself that I still have two more years to be with all my friends. After that I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Days until Summer: 14!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.  

Day 6: Five things I can't live without.

This list is gonna be kinda cheesy, but oh well. 

1.) My family and friends. I love them so much and without them I would have nobody to rant to. I would probably explode.

2.) Music. As I have stated many times before music is my life. It expresses so many things that words alone cannot. It lifts my spirit and makes me feel good about things.

3.) The internet. It is the place to be and I love it.

4.) Cheese. I freakn' love cheese.

5.) Chap stick. Without it my lips would fall off and I would die. 

• Oh, I just noticed that I kinda made a pun. At the beginning I said the list would be cheesy and one of the things on the list is cheese. Yay for accidental pun!

Days until Summer: 14!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

I'll just be a Stripper.

So, today I decided that if later in life I am not making enough money that I can just become a stripper. I have actually thought about this before, but today I made it official in my head. Of course I'll have to learn how to dance/strip in an attractive way, but that shouldn't be too hard, right? Some people might be like "how can you degrade yourself like that?" My answer to that is easy, for the money. I actually do not think being a stripper would be degrading at all. I know my morals and as long as I keep true to who I am, I see nothing wrong with being a stripper. I wouldn't become a whore or drink and do drugs, I'd be doing it strictly for the money. However, I think it might actually be fun as well. I mean people paying you because they find you attractive, that sounds pretty nice to me. The place I'd work at would have to have very good security though, because I'd be afraid of someone trying to kidnap and/or rape me; that would not be pleasant. This idea is only semi-serious, however it is a consideration. What do you think about it?

Days until Summer: 15!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 5: Six songs I am addicted to.

1.) Judas-Lady Gaga. It is simply amazing, and so is the video to it.

2.) All the Florence and the Machine songs. I can't just pick one or two, she has such a wonderful voice.

3.) Don't unplug Me-All Caps. It is such a cute song.

4.) How I roll-Britney Spears. I love her and this is such a catchy song.

5.) Undisclosed Desires-Muse. Oh how I love Muse.

6.) Monster-Meg & Dia. Their voices are so inspiring, I love it. 

Days until Summer: 15!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 4: Seven fears/phobias I have.

1.) Never finding love. This is my number one fear because I always dream of finding the perfect person who I will be with forever. I don't want this to never happen.

2.) Not succeeding in the music business. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life, so this would crush my spirit. 

3.) My family members or friends dying. I know it's gonna happen, but I'm still afraid of it. 

4.) Driving. I'm starting to overcome this one, but it's gonna take some time.

5.) The Ocean. Sharks, Jellyfish, Drowning; it is so scary.

6.) Somehow becoming involved in a fight. I would most likely die because I have zero fighting skills and very small arms. I would not be able to defend myself even if I tried. 

7.) Being buried alive. I would think this is a fear of most people because obviously no one would want that to happen.

Days until Summer: 16!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 3: Eight things that Annoy Me.

1.) All the people from my STFU blog post.

2.) People saying "That's gay" or "You're gay" as an insult. This needs to stop.

3.) Education. I hate going to school everyday and learning pointless information. 

4.) People taking my sarcastic comments personally. I did not mean to hurt your feelings and you're making me feel bad; stop it.

5.) My dogs barking non-stop. No explanation needed.

6.) People not understanding my opinions and then criticizing me for not being able to explain it to them. I do not need to explain myself to you, if you don't understand you are just stupid, end of discussion. 

7.) Republicans. They are just so ignorant, I cannot stand it.

8.) My hair not working for me. I get so mad when I cannot get my hair to cooperate, it's a struggle.

Days until Summer: 17!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 2: Nine things I do Everyday.

1.) Fix my hair. I have to or I will die...I will.
2.) On weekdays, go to school. I kinda have to no matter how much it sucks.
3.) Listen to music. I cannot survive a day without music.
4.) Get on Tumblr. I have to stalk all the wonderful posts, I simply have to.
5.) Eat food. Obviously. I am not anorexic.
6.) Be lonely. Until I find someone this will forever be the case.
7.) Wonder at the stupidity of people in the world. So much ignorance, it affects me everyday.
8.) Worry. It's always something; not a day goes by without me worrying.
9.) Be lazy. That's how I am, I don't enjoy putting forth effort.

Days until Summer: 18!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 1: Ten Random Facts about Me.

1.) I'm Gay. It's not a choice- I can't change it, you can't change it, no body can so either accept it, get over it or get out of my life. I won't stand for your hatred.
2.) I'm on anti-depressants. I'm not depressed, I'm actually mostly happy. I just have random bouts of sadness and/or anxiety from time to time, and I hope to fix this.
3.) I/my family has two dogs and one cat. The cat is named Charlie, but I just call him kitty and he is my favorite.
4.) I am obsessed with making sure my hair looks good. I am too self-conscious, I need to work on that.
5.) I hate ants. Especially lately because they have been invading my house. There are probably at least 30 dead ants on my desk right now.
6.) I plan on going to college to become a singer. I wish for this to be successful because music is my life.
7.) I want to live in New York or somewhere else that is super fabulous, though I'm not sure how that's gonna work out.
8.) I have never smoked, done drugs, or drank and do not plan on ever doing so.
9.) I'm a really awkward person to be left alone with. I suck at conversation and I know you all agree.
10.) I do not think I am very successful at challenges. So, this ten day one could be a problem.


Days until Summer: 19!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

I'm doing it too.

The Ten Day Challenge. 

And like Jared's it will most likely not be on consecutive days, but whenever I feel like it. Though it might be everyday- we'll see.

Days until Summer: 19!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Lonely.

So, I watched I Love you, Philip Morris today and it was pretty epic. Ewan Mcgregor did a really good job in this movie, he was very convincing. It was so cute, I almost cried. Lately I've been really lonely and this movie didn't help any. They were so in love and it was so romantic, it made me sad. I want that. But besides making me feel even lonelier it was a very good movie. I also watched 172 Hours, that was intensity. It at points made me a bit sick, because it was kinda gruesome, but it was a really interesting movie. Both of these movies were based on true stories, so that's pretty cool. I definitely recommend both of them, especially I Love you, Philip Morris- it was so cute. So, yeah today was what I would call successful.

Days until Summer: 19!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Glee makes me sad.

It's suppose to do the opposite for people, hence the name, but not me. I mean I love watching it and all the people in it and their performances, but it always makes me sad. I guess the reason for this is that I wish my life could be like Glee and it's not. I want their talent, their acceptance, their fake tv show life, just everything about it. I guess I'll just have to learn to love my life the way it is and accept that it can never really be like Glee. Bummer. Eh, I guess my life is pretty decent, I can accept it.

Days until Summer: 21!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

We can tear it up tonight.

That's "How I Roll". Oh, Britney. I love her. I love Femme Fatale, it's pretty amazing. Also I thought I should mention that Hannah Gayle is a wonderful lady. I love your blog post, you speak the truth. Oh, and you used my catchphrase, props for that. Keep being the beautiful person you are, you help me maintain my very weak faith in humanity.

Days until Summer: 22!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Sickish.

I'm now going to provide you a breakdown of my day. I woke up dying of a stopped up nose and sore throat, not fun. I got ready and drew a heart on my wrist for the wear your heart on your sleeve thing today. I did it in sharpie so it may be there for a while. Then I went to school, first period, and then to start testing. Testing is never very exciting and it is a bit dreadful whence sickish, no matter how simple it is; and believe me this test is super easy. But I made it through and had over an hour left. I finished my book and became extremely bored. So to entertain myself I flexed my wrist repeatedly watching the heart get smaller and bigger. This is only interesting for so long. So, I ended up staring into space until lunch. Oh! After lunch something interesting happened in the gym. I won't name names but whilst looking at someones phone, pictures of vagina's were found. Disgusting. Why someone would want vagina's on their phone I shall never know. But, yeah that was my day. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Days until Summer: 23!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

STFU.

While I do not cuss in person or in writing, sometimes people really make me want to. And using acronyms that contain a cuss word is not the same as cussing, so I'm allowed to do that. Here is a list of people that I want to tell to STFU:

1.) All the ignorant and discriminant bigots of my school, as well as in the world. While they make me wanna cuss and argue with them, I have realized that you can't do anything about these people. There is no use in trying to change their minds. They are a lost cause and in a way I feel sorry for them. But then I still hate them as well.
2.) All the Obama haters. You really have no excuse to be hating on my Obama. I don't care what you say, you need to stfu.
3.) Radical religious people. You can not use the bible as an excuse for everything you do. While there is war, rape, murder, molestation, animal abuse, and many other horrible things happening you protest against love. This is not what God wants you to do. If you are really as religious as you claim you are then you should know that you are going to hell for your hate crimes.
4.) My dad. I do believe he has some kind of mental problem. Most likely bipolar disorder. He gets very angered over the littlest things and will make a huge deal out of it. He tries to tell us that we are the ones making it into a big deal, because he thinks he is always right. He always uses really rude sarcasm to answer my serious questions. He doesn't listen to us, he just yells and overpowers our protests. 98% of the time I want to tell him to stfu. He needs to calm down.

Days until Summer: 24!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

"I never said I was in your closet."

Saw Scre4m tonight. It was amazing. Somehow it was the perfect combination of funny and scary. I have so many favorite quotes from it, I wish I could share them all. I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone so I won't talk about it. Other than to say it was a very good movie and I recommend it to anybody. I had a really fun time tonight and it makes me want to do things like this more often. However the drive home was rather frightening. It was pouring so intensely that we could not see the road for a very long time. We drove very slowly for fear of hydroplaning. But in the end I made it home safely, so it's all good.

Days until Summer: 24!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Heavy.

Tegan and Sara.

So, today in glee I had to sing Heavy by Tegan and Sara all by myself. I thought I did decently considering how nervous I was. I chose this song for two reasons: for one it is in my range and two it is not very musically demanding. While I can sing more musically demanding songs when I'm by myself, I can not in front of people. I freak out because I keep thinking I will mess up and so I just don't do it. However I plan to build my way up to being able to do this, as it is necessary if I am to be a singer. But for right now I am not ready. I would post a video of the song, but blogger will not allow me for copyright reasons.

Days until Summer: 25!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Men and Music.

So after all this time of receiving zero messages from any colleges I finally get three. However none of them are located in Kentucky. One is from a college in Tacoma, Washington called Puget Sound. I don't know what the Puget part is, but the sound part makes it seem like a music oriented school. This would be cool, but it's very far away and it always rains in Washington; I don't like rain. Then I received two from Wabash College in Crawfordsville, In. This college is an all mens college and I think they are trying to use this fact to intrigue me. They are trying to tempt me with their men. It won't work though, because I really do not enjoy Indiana and this offer is not enough to make me want to go to college there. So, yeah I wish some better colleges would contact me; it would be nice.

Days until Summer: Okay, so I suck at this countdown. I learned today that we get election day off, so the number is now 26.
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Stupid Tornado warning.

Ruining my sleep cycle and whatnot. So, I was sleeping and minding my own business when at 10pm my dad enters my room and is like "There's a tornado warning". And that means get up and get ready to get in the basement. My basement is more like a cellar and can only fit about five people. It is also extremely nasty and muddy down there. So we go down there with our radio and wait for the all clear. It was not until 11pm when we get out of there. So I missed an hour of sleep for nothing and I am super mad about it. I am really tired and cranky; this coffee better help.

Days until Summer: 28!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate. 

My brain is failing me.

I'm pretty sure I had something in mind to post on here today, but I can't remember. I guess I'll just talk about my day. Drivers ed. was a bit boring, because being an aid I do not do anything. I just go to the library and sit with Coreena; conversation with her is always fun though. Then world civ. was stupid, as it always is. I guess English was ok; we didn't really do much, so that's always good. Choir and Band sucked, because my back was dying and I did not feel like singing or playing an instrument. Today was my first day to band since last Wednesday, so that made it worse. Glee was uneventful. Piano lesson went well, my piano teacher is crazy; she even said so herself today. So that was my day, fun times I know.

Days until Summer: Apparently 28 still, since now we are going good Friday?; Lame.
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Frustration.

So, I skipped the last two periods of school to meet with Mary Kinney over at octc. I was hoping to solve my college/high school scheduling business, since Mr. M never seems to know anything. Well she told be to go ahead and take AP English and AP US history. However instead of pre-cal she wants me to take college algebra at the high school. And I guess I'm still gonna take physics. :/ Then she signed me up for a sociology class that meets from 12:30 to (i think) 1:15 on Mondays and Fridays. Not sure how thats gonna work. She also said we would be adding more college classes as we figured things out. I don't know how my high school classes are gonna work around these college classes. I just hope Mr. M and the college can work things out for me; I really want to get ahead in college. On a positive note, as far as I know, I still get to do band. But other than that I am just confused and frustrated.

Days until Summer: 28!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

jaaaaaaa.

I don't really ever listen to Justin Bieber and therefore cannot state an honest opinion about him. However, I love Julia Nunes and this cover/mash-up she does using his song Baby. It's pretty amazing; I just wish she would make and post more cover songs like she used to. Now that she's become a little more famous she barely ever posts any videos; it makes me sad. But I still love her and this song is really good.

Days until Summer: Still 29.

Also from now on I declare my quote from one previous post "Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate." to be my catchphrase and will therefore appear at the bottom of posts. It's a very good message and I want to constantly remind people of it. So, yeah.

Food=Complication.

If food were not necessary to survive, I would probably almost never eat. I have so many problems with food. I know that when I'm hungry that I need to eat, however I can never find anything I want. I have problems with not only the taste, but also the texture of foods. If it's not one thing it's the other. I want to eat healthy, so I stay away from junk food and most things considered unhealthy. But I hate most healthy foods, their textures and tastes are hate crimes to my mouth. The healthy foods I can handle are bland and very boring. I get tired of them quickly and then there is nothing for me to eat. It seems no one can help me with this problem. Life would be so much easier if I did not need food.

Days until Summer: Still 29.

I've learned Love is like a Brick...

...you can build a house or sink a dead body. I love this woman. Today was GLSEN 2011 day of silence, and I am proud to say that I made it the entire school day without talking. It was difficult as there are always opportunities to put forth my opinion, however I feel strongly about the purpose of the silence and did not give in. Then we had a forever long pep rally and it was actually pretty entertaining. People really sucked at their cheer leading attempts, just say'n. After I got home Mary Rachel took me to tj Max, where she works, and helped me find some summer clothes. I ended up getting ten thousand shirts and only one pair of shorts. I didn't like any of the shorts they had to offer; I'm not a successful shopper. But anyways Judas came out today and it is pretty amazing. I can't wait until May 23rd when the entire album comes out. I love Lady Gaga; she inspires me.

Days until Summer: 29!

It's Tye Dye For.

Hahaha, humorous pun. No, but seriously I'm wearing my tye-dye t-shirt tomorrow. Why, you may ask? Because tomorrow is the GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network) 2011 Day of Silence. Basically this day is to raise awareness of bullying of GLBT youth in todays schools. What does tye-dye have to do with this? Well I went to the DOS website and it said to further show your support you can either wear red or something rainbow related. Rainbows as we know represent the gay community and tye-dye is the only thing close to rainbow clothing I have. I was gonna post a picture, but you'll just have to wait until tomorrow to see it. It's gonna be a good day, I can already tell.

Ps: Do not try to have conversations with me tomorrow, for I will be silent. Obviously.

Days until Summer: 30!

A "K" in it's natural environment.

I like to call this my baby k, because compared to everyone else's letters it is significantly smaller. We made 3D letters in drawing class last nine weeks and it was really fun. I really miss drawing class and Mrs. Sparks, because that class was so relaxed and non-stressful. Well, anyways these letters were supposed to be decorated to represent our personalities. So, I chose the colors red, black, and silver because I really enjoy those colors together. I'm not sure what it is about these colors, I guess I think they look classy? I painted a tree on the front because I have an obsession with trees: they are beautiful. I decided to add the silver glitter at the last minute because I felt it was lacking. I guess you could say that the glitter represents my sparkling personality, but I just picked it because it's shiny. The polka dots on the back were just to fill up space, but I actually think they pull the entire piece together. I use the word really a lot, but oh well. So, that's my baby k and I love it. 

Days until Summer: 31!

The Piano King?

This is what my Tuesday nights consist of; Piano lessons and Smoothie King. My piano teacher is a really nice and funny lady. She is so supportive of my playing abilities, always saying how good I'm doing and stuff like that. Lessons with her always brightens up my day. Then when I'm done with that I get a smoothie at Smoothie King. I've tried so many different flavors, it's crazy. They are all so good and I'm officially an addict. My favorite however would have to be Angel food, it is very delicious. Today was a good day, and a specific person from yesterdays post was not at school so that was a big plus.

Days until Summer: 32!

Stop the hate, Don't Discriminate.

So, today in World Civ we were taking notes about a psychopathic King who had a gay son. Mr. P was saying how the king hated this son. The ignorant people of my class were like "I would hate him too", "What! he's gay, gross!" and other insulting things like that. Then Mr. P said how the king constantly beat this son. And Micheal Powers says, "Good, maybe he can make a man out of him"..... Excuse me! Being gay does not make a person any less of a man. If anything, it makes them more of a man; they have to put up with constant discrimination from dangerously stupid people like you, we are constantly fighting for equality and rights that should have never been taken away. So, anyways I hope you burn in the fiery pits of Hell Micheal Powers, you and all the ignorant people who agree with your opinions.

Oh, and Days until Summer: 33!

It's the Final Countdown.

Not really, I just needed a clever title. However it is a countdown and an exciting one at that. I'm going to start adding a countdown of the number of days until summer break at the end of each blog post. This is the first day back to school and needless to say I am not enthused. I got pretty much zero sleep and am definitely in need of coffee. So, we'll see how the day goes.

Days until Summer: 34!

This was meant to be posted this morning, but for reasons unknown that failed. Well, anyways there you go.

And correction; Days until Summer: 33!

About Me.

1. Music is everything to me. Without it I would die. Music is one of the few things in life that makes the world Beautiful. I hope to one day become a singer and if I accomplish anything I at least want to bring beauty to someones life. One person is enough, although more would be pretty great.


2. I hate school. I hate waking up early and getting ready, I hate riding my bus, I hate being taught useless information, I highly dislike quite a few teachers, I hate the crowded halls, and I hate having to listen to ignorant people and their insulting comments. However I try to use my friends as inspiration to drag myself to this horrid place everyday.


3. I have wonderful friends, but I do not go out that often. I want to change this because when I do go places with my friends I always end up having a great time. They are all so fun to be around and they make my life happier. Friends are another of the few things that makes the world beautiful.

They will stop degrading us.

I love Muse. To me these two songs are a good representation of the constant struggle of the gay community for equality and rights. Whether Muse meant for it to do that or not (most likely not) that's how it comes across to me. Thats the beauty of music, it can be interpreted a thousand different ways depending on who is listening. The Resistance is a wonderful album and Muse is just fantastic. Enjoy.

Controlling my feelings for too long.

                                                                                                                                  -Showbiz by Muse

This is a very good song and the lyrics, for the most part, represent how I feel. This song is from their first album back in 1999;.... I like old songs. It's pretty great, I recommend listening to it.

So together, but so broken up inside.

Sorry to go all Kelly Clarkson on you there, but that's how I've felt most of my life. I was keeping a huge secret to myself for years. I hate lying to people. I'd always put on a brave face and muddle through my days knowing I was not being completely true to who I am. But now that I have this blog I feel much, much happier. I believe it is a good start to putting the pieces back together again. I think I'm really going to enjoy this, and like I said before; I hope you do too.

Oh, and by the way in case you didn't know, the title is lyrics from Kelly Clarkson's song "Behind these Hazel Eyes". It's kinda old, but I love it.

I'm Gay.

Big shocker, right? Not really, if it is then you are really dumb. Fo real. Anyway this is my first blog ever and I figured it would be best to start with this information. I want to be really honest and open and thats not gonna happen if I am constantly hiding a huge part of who I am. If you don't like this, then get out of my kitchen, so to speak, because this is my blog and I don't care what you think. So, in conclusion my life isn't very interesting, however my ideas/opinions are. (or at least I think so). So that's what this blog will be all about. I hope you enjoy.

P.S.: If you don't believe this is really me and you care enough to ask me in person, at school simply say, "Is it true?" and I'll say yes, because I'll know what you're talking about. Or just private message me on Facebook or text me or something; whatever you want. Just don't make a scene about it. Please and Thank you.