Day 9: My last kiss.

N/A. I haven't even had my first kiss. However, I expect that when I finally do it will be pretty wonderful.

Hmm, very short post. Oh well.

Summer!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 8: Something I'm currently worrying about.

You know usually I'm constantly worrying about all kinds of things and would have a thousand options as to which problem to blog about, but not today. I'm not sure why, is it because I'm on summer break? That I have the Born This Way cd? That I'm happy about having a boyfriend and getting to spend all kinds of time with him? I guess it's a combination of all of those, but to be completely honest there is one thing I'm currently worrying about. I'm worried that this sickness thing I have right now is contagious and that everyone I came in contact with within these past couple of days are going to get sick. Hopefully it's not, I think it may just be a sinus infection, but I'm sorry if you do get sick and it's my fault; I mean I wasn't going to avoid having a good time just because I'm a little sick. That's pretty much it though.

Ignore the unattractive angle.

Day 7: My opinion on cheating on people.

Can this even be considered a debatable topic? Obviously, I would never do it and neither should anyone else. I can't see why anyone would have an opinion to the contrary. If you don't like the person you're with then break up with them. Even though it may seem hard at the time, it is better than having them find you cheating on them. This would ruin your reputation, no one wants to be with a cheater. So moral of the story, don't cheat.

Days Until Summer: 1!!!!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 6: The person I like and why I like them.

Well obviously that would have to be my boyfriend, uh duh. I like him because he is so very nice to everyone and is so caring. He has common sense, unlike most people, and we share pretty much all the same opinions. He has a great personality, there is never a dull moment with him. He's cute and doesn't make me feel nearly as awkward as other people do. I love going places with him, we have such fun times. I don't know what else to say, I just like him.

Days until Summer: 2!!!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 5: Things that irritate me about the opposite/same sex.

Well, people in general irritate me with their hypocritical and discriminative ways, but to be gender specific, hmm I'm not sure.

• Opposite sex- Well there is not much about females that irritates me, other than that they have vagina's (lol, jk). But yeah they are mostly nice and accepting, so... I guess the only thing that kinda irritates me is that a lot of girls are not happy. Everyone deserves to be happy and it seems like females are more susceptible to self hatred and depression. Love yourself and do what's best for you, then you'll be happy. (And will no longer irritate me (: )
• Same sex- I'm gonna have to say that what irritates me most about males is that a vast majority of them are straight and with this a lot of the time comes homophobia. I guess since straight men, much more than girls (obviously), do not understand our love for other men they feel the need to push us far away from them and openly show disgust towards us. Whatever their reasoning it irritates me. Homophobia is an extremely irrational fear that should never have come about and especially not be so common. 

Days until Summer: 4!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 4: What I wear to bed.

Well, not much. 99% of the time I just wear my boxers and that's all. I keep my fan on high so I'm forced to wrap up tight in my blanket to stay warm. I like being cold and having to bundle up whilst sleeping. So yeah, this is a short post; there's not much to say about what I wear to sleep.

Days until Summer: 5!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 3: What kind of person attracts me.

Well I guess I'll provide a list.

1. Intelligent (probably most important)
2. Funny.
3. Cute and lovable.
4. Not afraid to share their feelings and opinions.
5. Very understanding and caring.
6. Willing to commit themselves to a relationship.
7. Comforting.
8. Both trust worthy and trusting. 

Basically, I have to have fun when I'm with them; they need to be able to make me happy.

Days until Summer: 6!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 2: How have I changed in the past two years?

I guess you could say that I've changed a lot in the past two years, but mainly this year. Through most of this school year everything has seemed to bother me. All the ignorant people and even my friends were getting on my nerves way more than usual, or so I thought. But then I realized that the real problem was me. I was frustrated because I could never state my true opinion on things, I wasn't being completely honest about myself. So I came out during Spring break and since then I have changed tremendously. I have been a lot more outspoken and I have stoped caring as much about what others think of me. I've been wearing a little bit more of the things I like and not caring. I've been going out with friends a lot, whereas before I might go out once every month or two. And apparently I have been a lot more sassy about things? Oh well, it happens. But anyway I've changed a lot, including in ways I can not put into words. Change is good.

Days until Summer: 7!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Born this Way leaked...

jgkvhn mva[oerju/. Oh my, so overwhelming. I feel this intense need to skip school tomorrow just so I can listen to them all. I need to hear all of them multiple times and let it all sink in. I can't pick a favorite, all I can say is that the entire album is my favorite. So Amazing. I have to buy the CD. I never buy cds, but I have to have this one. Hopefully I have enough money for it on Monday. I am not going to be able to concentrate at school... or sleep or eat or anything really. We so excited. fjiahrvnihgeah Yeah!

Days until Summer: 8!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 1: Weird things I do when alone.

I don't really consider anything I do weird, but I don't know. Um, well like many other people I don't wear pants when alone. I sometimes talk to myself, like I have conversations and things. Probably the strangest thing I do is dance/flail frantically to any song I feel like listening to and singing it to my cat. He gets very confused and usually runs away, but I know he loves me.

Days until Summer: 8!
Stop the Hate Don't Discriminate.

Everybody Hurts.

This song is so amazing. When I'm down it always makes me feel better. I couldn't stop singing it today, it's so pretty. Avril Lavigne is such a beautiful singer, I love her.

Days until Summer: 9!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Okay, I guess I will too.

I'm probably not going to want to answer a lot of these truthfully, but I'll try. I think these challenges are really cool, they allow you to show others who you are and what you believe in.

Days until Summer: 9!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

I did not fit in...

So tonight was interesting. I went to the bar bq festival with Mary Rachel and Grant and we walked around for a while. It was windy and rainy, I was shivering most of the night. Well we went to the school age stage thing which was bands playing metal music. I was so confused, and as the title states I did not fit in. The people were so crazy, I made sure to keep a safe distance. But on the bright side I saw Jessica VanWinkle who I haven't seen or talked to in forever. We used to be best friends before she moved, then we gradually grew apart. Oh, and Jenifer was there too. Then when the metal music concert thing was over Grant and his friend (both of which are over 21) wanted to get beers. So we went into this bar and  me and Mary Rachel quickly sat down at a table. (She's only 18). We thought we would be ok, that no one would confront us for being underage; I mean we weren't going to drink, we were just here to get out of the cold. It was full of old people dancing to country music, gross. But once again I did not fit in. Not long after Grant and his friend got to the table with their beers some creeper worker guy pops up at my shoulder, gets in my face and is like, "Did anyone i.d. you?" I didn't know how to respond, I wanted to tell him to get out of my face and then maybe I'd answer; but instead I just gave him a disgusted look and slightly shook my head. Then he was like, "I'm talking to you". So I'm like "No" and Mary Rachel says we'll just leave. So we exit the bar after not even two minutes of being there. I feel like I failed at being a convincing 21 year old. Oh well, it's not a bad thing to look your age when you're young. I just felt insulted that he didn't confront Mary Rachel, only me. So rude. Anyways then we went and ate McDonalds and preceded to Grants friend's friend's house. Her and her friend were really nice and funny. We stayed there and talked for a while, but eventually left because it was getting late. So that was my night. I guess it was decent, just cold and full of awkward situations; no big deal.

Days until Summer: 9!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 10: One person I can trust.

This is really hard, I'd like to think there are multiple people I can trust. And I don't want to just put down one friend, when I trust more than one. So, to avoid hurting any of my friends feelings I'm gonna have to say,

1.) My Mom. I've told her I am gay and she hasn't told my dad. I've told her lots of things and if I don't want her to she doesn't repeat it. She tells me lots of things too and I never tell anyone else. We have a very trusting relationship. I love my mom.

Woo hoo, I finished the challenge! It was actually kinda fun; it gave me something to do and allowed me to really look inside myself for answers. I liked it.

Days until Summer: 11!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

My Dad....

How does he not know I'm gay. I think it's kinda obvious, but whatever. My mom, sister, and I decided not to tell him because he would most likely explode, or at least have a heart attack or something. But lately he's been trying to push me into dating girls, and finding the right girl and bringing her home. It's like, "I'm gay, now STFU!" He also talks condescendingly about gay guys. Like today we saw someone walk in front of our car. My dad was like "Who was that" and I told him. He remembered that I used to/kinda still am friends with him and was just like, "oh." in a semi-disgusted way. Later he was like, "What happened to him, he looked like he was flaming" (Derogatory way of saying he "looked" gay, in case you didn't know) and I was like, "No, he has a girlfriend who he's always kissing and hugging". He says, "Oh, I was worried for a second. That's good". Like seriously. Then he keeps talking about how when I  start driving I'll find a girl and bring her home and how I need to find a girl who shares my passion for music. It annoys me so much, I just sit there going, "uh huh" and "sure". I don't know if he's doing this because he suspects I'm gay and is trying to "change" me (impossible, I was born this way) or if he actually thinks I'm straight. Either way I'm getting sick and tired of it and he needs to STFU. I'm gonna bring a boy home, not a girl, so stop telling me what I'm gonna do: You are wrong.

Days until Summer: 12!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 9: Two things I wish I could do.

1.) Be confident. This would help with so many things in my life. Like in social situations, when making decisions, when performing on stage, when flirting/trying to win the affection of someone I really like, and just everything. Confidence would make my life wonderful.
2.) Take all my friends everywhere I go. Like every time I move be able to take them with me, that way we can always be together. I don't ever wanna leave my friends. This isn't rational, I know, it's a wish.

Days until Summer: 12!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 8: Three words I can't go a day without using.

I use lots of words everyday, but I guess these would be the top three.

1.) "I". It's always, "I need this", "I want that", or " I am going to do this". I'm always talking about myself and I hope it doesn't make me sound selfish or ego-centric.  

2.) "Love". I am always proclaiming my love for something. I just love lots of things, I can't help it.

3.) "Amazing". This is my go to word when trying to describe wonderful things. So sorry if I use it too often, I need to broaden my vocabulary. 

Days until Summer: 13!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 7: Four memories.

Considering how I can never remember anything, this may take some thought.  

1.) Going to New York on the GT trip. It was the first time I had ever been to New York, New York and it was life-changing. I didn't ever want to leave, it was so beautiful. It was also my first ever plane ride, so that was memorable as well. 

2.) Last Summer when my sister flew me out to visit her in Florida. It was just me and her and we had a great time. We went to Disney world and did all kinds of other fun things. I also had creme brulee and flan for the first time, they were delicious. 

3.) The many times going to visit my mom's family in Maryland. They are such wonderful people and I always have fun every time we go there.

4.) The numerous camping trips me and my family went on when I was younger. My dad had a job that required him to go to many different states, so during the summer we would camp somewhere near his work site. We went to New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and other northern states. We stayed at really cool camp grounds and met lots of new people. It was really fun.

Days until Summer: 14!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Emotionally Attached.

All my life I have dreamed of moving away to somewhere big and wonderful like New York. I want to be a happy and successful singer. I never used to think how hard it would be to leave my friends behind. I've never been really close to any friends until recently. I love my friends so much and I have become severely emotionally attached to them, especially the ones who accept me for who I am and who I feel comfortable talking to about anything. I can't imagine not living minutes away from all my friends and being able to see them and hang out whenever we want. It almost makes me want to never leave, but that's not rational. If it were not for my friends I would leave this place now. I have decided that I am forcing at least one friend to move in with me where ever I decide to live, because to just completely leave all my friends at once would kill me. Sorry if this post is depressing, but it's how I feel. I just have to keep reminding myself that I still have two more years to be with all my friends. After that I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Days until Summer: 14!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.  

Day 6: Five things I can't live without.

This list is gonna be kinda cheesy, but oh well. 

1.) My family and friends. I love them so much and without them I would have nobody to rant to. I would probably explode.

2.) Music. As I have stated many times before music is my life. It expresses so many things that words alone cannot. It lifts my spirit and makes me feel good about things.

3.) The internet. It is the place to be and I love it.

4.) Cheese. I freakn' love cheese.

5.) Chap stick. Without it my lips would fall off and I would die. 

• Oh, I just noticed that I kinda made a pun. At the beginning I said the list would be cheesy and one of the things on the list is cheese. Yay for accidental pun!

Days until Summer: 14!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

I'll just be a Stripper.

So, today I decided that if later in life I am not making enough money that I can just become a stripper. I have actually thought about this before, but today I made it official in my head. Of course I'll have to learn how to dance/strip in an attractive way, but that shouldn't be too hard, right? Some people might be like "how can you degrade yourself like that?" My answer to that is easy, for the money. I actually do not think being a stripper would be degrading at all. I know my morals and as long as I keep true to who I am, I see nothing wrong with being a stripper. I wouldn't become a whore or drink and do drugs, I'd be doing it strictly for the money. However, I think it might actually be fun as well. I mean people paying you because they find you attractive, that sounds pretty nice to me. The place I'd work at would have to have very good security though, because I'd be afraid of someone trying to kidnap and/or rape me; that would not be pleasant. This idea is only semi-serious, however it is a consideration. What do you think about it?

Days until Summer: 15!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 5: Six songs I am addicted to.

1.) Judas-Lady Gaga. It is simply amazing, and so is the video to it.

2.) All the Florence and the Machine songs. I can't just pick one or two, she has such a wonderful voice.

3.) Don't unplug Me-All Caps. It is such a cute song.

4.) How I roll-Britney Spears. I love her and this is such a catchy song.

5.) Undisclosed Desires-Muse. Oh how I love Muse.

6.) Monster-Meg & Dia. Their voices are so inspiring, I love it. 

Days until Summer: 15!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 4: Seven fears/phobias I have.

1.) Never finding love. This is my number one fear because I always dream of finding the perfect person who I will be with forever. I don't want this to never happen.

2.) Not succeeding in the music business. I can't imagine doing anything else with my life, so this would crush my spirit. 

3.) My family members or friends dying. I know it's gonna happen, but I'm still afraid of it. 

4.) Driving. I'm starting to overcome this one, but it's gonna take some time.

5.) The Ocean. Sharks, Jellyfish, Drowning; it is so scary.

6.) Somehow becoming involved in a fight. I would most likely die because I have zero fighting skills and very small arms. I would not be able to defend myself even if I tried. 

7.) Being buried alive. I would think this is a fear of most people because obviously no one would want that to happen.

Days until Summer: 16!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 3: Eight things that Annoy Me.

1.) All the people from my STFU blog post.

2.) People saying "That's gay" or "You're gay" as an insult. This needs to stop.

3.) Education. I hate going to school everyday and learning pointless information. 

4.) People taking my sarcastic comments personally. I did not mean to hurt your feelings and you're making me feel bad; stop it.

5.) My dogs barking non-stop. No explanation needed.

6.) People not understanding my opinions and then criticizing me for not being able to explain it to them. I do not need to explain myself to you, if you don't understand you are just stupid, end of discussion. 

7.) Republicans. They are just so ignorant, I cannot stand it.

8.) My hair not working for me. I get so mad when I cannot get my hair to cooperate, it's a struggle.

Days until Summer: 17!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 2: Nine things I do Everyday.

1.) Fix my hair. I have to or I will die...I will.
2.) On weekdays, go to school. I kinda have to no matter how much it sucks.
3.) Listen to music. I cannot survive a day without music.
4.) Get on Tumblr. I have to stalk all the wonderful posts, I simply have to.
5.) Eat food. Obviously. I am not anorexic.
6.) Be lonely. Until I find someone this will forever be the case.
7.) Wonder at the stupidity of people in the world. So much ignorance, it affects me everyday.
8.) Worry. It's always something; not a day goes by without me worrying.
9.) Be lazy. That's how I am, I don't enjoy putting forth effort.

Days until Summer: 18!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

Day 1: Ten Random Facts about Me.

1.) I'm Gay. It's not a choice- I can't change it, you can't change it, no body can so either accept it, get over it or get out of my life. I won't stand for your hatred.
2.) I'm on anti-depressants. I'm not depressed, I'm actually mostly happy. I just have random bouts of sadness and/or anxiety from time to time, and I hope to fix this.
3.) I/my family has two dogs and one cat. The cat is named Charlie, but I just call him kitty and he is my favorite.
4.) I am obsessed with making sure my hair looks good. I am too self-conscious, I need to work on that.
5.) I hate ants. Especially lately because they have been invading my house. There are probably at least 30 dead ants on my desk right now.
6.) I plan on going to college to become a singer. I wish for this to be successful because music is my life.
7.) I want to live in New York or somewhere else that is super fabulous, though I'm not sure how that's gonna work out.
8.) I have never smoked, done drugs, or drank and do not plan on ever doing so.
9.) I'm a really awkward person to be left alone with. I suck at conversation and I know you all agree.
10.) I do not think I am very successful at challenges. So, this ten day one could be a problem.


Days until Summer: 19!
Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.

I'm doing it too.

The Ten Day Challenge. 

And like Jared's it will most likely not be on consecutive days, but whenever I feel like it. Though it might be everyday- we'll see.

Days until Summer: 19!

Stop the Hate, Don't Discriminate.